Who do you hate?

............. Raven wasn't even sure why she was killing them.  It use to have a purpose behind it.  These orcs had done nothing and posed no threat, no one was paying her to do it, and yet she killed them.  At first it was amusing to strike one down and watch them panic and flutter about.  Though she had seen death so much in her line of work that the temporary joy quickly gave way to her professional perfectionism.  Its a sad day when even slaughtering a whole village can't make you smile. She thought to herself.  Yet, it did feel good to kill, very good but joy was not the word for it.  It was as if killing for a moment let her breath from under the weight of what she had become.

All she wanted was to escape and run away from her father.  She did that and Balthier left her with no where to go.  At least she was out of the caravan and no man would ever touch her again unless she allowed it.  She had allowed Balthier several times and then he just left her there in Reddas alone.  

She wasn't helpless though living on the Caravan she learned how to pick a pocket and hide in the shadows, skills very valuable in Reddas.  Desperate she got caught one day and was forced to kill a man who was going to kill her for stealing his gold.  She realized then it was not power that made one powerful but instead just the will to act.  The will to loose your bow to slit a throat the will to survive could be harnessed into power,  She started picking up jobs that were simple and only required the will to do them--the killing of innocence.

There were plenty of those jobs, gave lots of practice to sharpen her skills and coin to improve her life and skill.  Reputation grew much faster than her ambition and soon a group of assassins, the Black Sacrament, contacted her.  They were upset that contracts they use to be contacted for were going to Raven.  In turn, they tried to kill her.  She survived the attempt only by sacrificing a friend of hers to act as a double.  She had long since stopped feeling bad about that.   The one attempt wasn't the last.  Eventually they gave her a choice be one of us or be hunted by us. Joining was not a horrible decision.  She actually counted it as one of the best she had ever made.  They loved her and treated her like family, better than any family she had ever known anyway.  They provided for her, trained her and taught her.  The killings were tougher but the whole family was involved.  She became extremely good at what she did, and she learned that killing was no different than any other job, easier than most really.  Until a new boss took over the Black Raven and gave the family the same choice it had given Raven those years ago -- join or die.  The family did not die and was betrayed from within.  Nastril, he primary mentor, poisoned the family and sent them on contracts to kill each other. Raven found out too late, failed to save her brothers and sisters and barely earned her own life as she choked the life out of Nastril. 

On her own again, she still helped and slept with Balthier on occasion, it was something to do.  To pay the bills she did what she knew how to do.  It was Balthier that enlisted her in a job that had the Empire's capital Andreal as the target.  He made it out, leaving her behind in favor of some Paladin. 
For a while she rotted in an imperial prison then offered release if she served the then Emperor.  It was going to be an easy job one that did not even require too much killing.  She was a glorified babysitter in Windfall, spending most nights drunk on more mead than was reasonable.  Until Nial came back and told her they found her father.  She thought killing her parents would bring happiness or fill the emptiness which consumed her.


But it didn't.  Somehow her fear had turned into anger and that anger held to her heart.  It grew into hatred and boiled her soul.  It was then the Sith found her and offered her a job.  In exchange they taught her how to harness her hatred and anger so that it did not consume her but gave her weapons to let her do what she needed to do.  But they were not the Black Sacrament, they were not her family.  The Sith hated her and tortured her to make her stronger claiming and teaching that only strength mattered and even told her that one day she would kill them or they would kill her.  She hoped to find some family among her own blood, but the Caravan looked at her as if she was a monster.  As if I could have been worse than Esmerdeen.  I'M not him!!!! 

It was worse after she started using her brothers as bait for her targets and killing the gypsy's which tried to leave.  Curse them.

She did eventually find a family to make.  A vampire coven had been recently created in the Grey Haven's by Aaron, the same Aaron who served Dante she believed.  But they had been abandoned just like her.  Killing their defacto Matron she took over and purged the coven of all male vampires. She provided leadership and direction, they clung to her purpose and gave loyalty in return.  That was not all, they also gave love.  Astrid provided companship Raven had forgot she could hope for.  Was it just more filling of a void or was it really love? A vampire and a sith assassin.   Is either of us monsters capable of love?  

And now it was almost time for her plan to be executed. The plan that would kill all the families she had tried to build and would finally grant her safety--she just needed the will to do what was necessary. She had shadowed Morgan and thought, if Morgan could be redeemed so could she, but the thought was laughable... in order to be redeemed you have to have been good once. 

Fear, anger, hate.  They all boiled in her now.  These deaths served no purpose nor did they make her feel better.  She hated so many people for what they had done to her she hated the people that had made her who she was.  Who did she hate the most, what fueled her immense power in the darkside? Hatred for? Nastril, Balthier, Esmerdeen, Cleo, malekite, Scorpio.  No! No! No! No! Who really did it?  Who really makes you unsaveable? 

Its Raven!!!